Sir David enjoys a status in this household experienced by very few other mortals. Zoe worships the Tweenies. Ulrika would probably like to elope with Lenoard Cohen. I am a fully payed up member of the Peelite Tendency. And Kai can't get enough of Lordi, Scooby Doo and Basil Brush.
But when Attenborough is on telly the whole family gather and enjoy in gobsmacked awe and reverence.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/2010/oct/31/david-attenborough-feature-readers-questions
What appeals to me is his sense of self distance,his enthusiasm and his wonderful use of language. Kai's vocabulary has benefited enormously from having DA as a mentor.My personal contribution to his language development is little more than a series of monosyllabic grunts and curses.
söndag 31 oktober 2010
fredag 29 oktober 2010
Any relation to persons living or undead.....
Bizarre! Our pal Andreas, Frida's dad, has written a children's mystery set on Oland.
And can you believe it? The baddie is a fat,bald Englishman. Called John!
Being the role model for a villain is a first for me! Many would argue that it's surprising it's taken so long.
I will do all I can to ensure he finds a publisher,is enormously successful and that the book gets made into a Hollywood film, preferably starring Anthony Hopkins.
And then of course I will sue his ass for the apalling emotional suffering this has all caused me. Maybe I could even sell my true story to the News of the World?
And can you believe it? The baddie is a fat,bald Englishman. Called John!
Being the role model for a villain is a first for me! Many would argue that it's surprising it's taken so long.
I will do all I can to ensure he finds a publisher,is enormously successful and that the book gets made into a Hollywood film, preferably starring Anthony Hopkins.
And then of course I will sue his ass for the apalling emotional suffering this has all caused me. Maybe I could even sell my true story to the News of the World?
Sonny side up
Juha has discovered a Bacefook application Which rock star do you most resemble? which I fear will lead to great disharmony in many homes.
It decided that he was Kurt Cobain which of course makes Mrs H Courtney Love. But what if Ulrika does it and discovers she's Tina Turner or Cher? That makes me Ike Turner or even worse Sonny Bono. She's got me babe.
I could live with her being Yoko Ono on the other hand.
It decided that he was Kurt Cobain which of course makes Mrs H Courtney Love. But what if Ulrika does it and discovers she's Tina Turner or Cher? That makes me Ike Turner or even worse Sonny Bono. She's got me babe.
I could live with her being Yoko Ono on the other hand.
Hell's belles
Just what you need to get the weekend started. A little lounge metal!
Hellsongs from Gothenburg are probably the only practitioners in this rather niched sub genre , but they are very fine.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWLHSRnVqug
Hellsongs from Gothenburg are probably the only practitioners in this rather niched sub genre , but they are very fine.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWLHSRnVqug
onsdag 27 oktober 2010
Jackanaxy
Cosied up in bed last night reading Kai a bedtime story when Danne rang me. He wondered which children's classic we were enjoying. Pippi Longstocking? Winnie The Pooh? Moomintroll? Madame Bouvary?
No we were laughing our heads off to Urgum: the tale of a psychotic, pagan axeman. Hilarious! Ooops! Reality calling. Perhaps not quite the best read for a seven-year old!
Ulrika wonders why he has so many nightmares......
No we were laughing our heads off to Urgum: the tale of a psychotic, pagan axeman. Hilarious! Ooops! Reality calling. Perhaps not quite the best read for a seven-year old!
Ulrika wonders why he has so many nightmares......
måndag 25 oktober 2010
Brushing up their English
I had an interesting hour today helping out with at school with Kai's class English lesson.
I asked the kids a few simple questions: What is your favourite colour? What is your favourite food? How old are you?
Then Kai said he wanted to ask them a question and did. Which famous English film star was met the Queen? Nobody (myself included) had a clue. The answer (of course!) is Basil Brush.
Yesterday he was screaming for the Wombles. That boy lives on his own strange Anglophile planet!
I asked the kids a few simple questions: What is your favourite colour? What is your favourite food? How old are you?
Then Kai said he wanted to ask them a question and did. Which famous English film star was met the Queen? Nobody (myself included) had a clue. The answer (of course!) is Basil Brush.
Yesterday he was screaming for the Wombles. That boy lives on his own strange Anglophile planet!
Pat, Ex-Pat or Postman Pat?
Last week Ì was preparing a few musical offerings for Neil, my old school friend in Hong Kong. That got me thinking about what sort of music the modern British ex-pat longs to hear. It probably isn't Vera Lynn and Noel Coward. It's more likely to be The Buzzcocks, Half Man Half Biscuit and The Clash or for the even older ex-pat, Yes, Genesis, Gentle Giant, Soft Machine etc.
This led me on to the question: what is an ex-pat and more importantly: am I one?
The theasaurus gives sone useful suýnonyms: fugitive, wayfarer, emigrant,refugee, displaced person.
I asked Emile who came up with the useful definition something along the lines of:
an ex-pat is a disgruntled Brit sitting in Torremolinos, Dubai or somewhere else sunny, leafing their way through the Daily Mail and grumbling about a dreadful state the UK has got into. He puts the blame firmly on immigrants, the Labour Party,the abolition of miltary service, women's lib, rock music, the anti-foxhunting lobby,etc.
That's fine, as far as it goes, but what then of the thousands of Brits abroad like myself who are reading the Guardian on-line every day.
Not to mention their children. Kai inhabits a strange Anglophile oasis where Bagpuss and Basil Brush are king. These unlikely icons are completely unknown to his classmates. He can't be an ex-pat as he's never been a pat.
Clearly one could write a whole book on this topic.
This led me on to the question: what is an ex-pat and more importantly: am I one?
The theasaurus gives sone useful suýnonyms: fugitive, wayfarer, emigrant,refugee, displaced person.
I asked Emile who came up with the useful definition something along the lines of:
an ex-pat is a disgruntled Brit sitting in Torremolinos, Dubai or somewhere else sunny, leafing their way through the Daily Mail and grumbling about a dreadful state the UK has got into. He puts the blame firmly on immigrants, the Labour Party,the abolition of miltary service, women's lib, rock music, the anti-foxhunting lobby,etc.
That's fine, as far as it goes, but what then of the thousands of Brits abroad like myself who are reading the Guardian on-line every day.
Not to mention their children. Kai inhabits a strange Anglophile oasis where Bagpuss and Basil Brush are king. These unlikely icons are completely unknown to his classmates. He can't be an ex-pat as he's never been a pat.
Clearly one could write a whole book on this topic.
söndag 24 oktober 2010
Cottoning on
I usually run into Gunilla in the moshpit at Roskilde rather than the cotton fields of Uzbekistan. However her new book on the cotton trade sounds well worth a read.
http://www.dn.se/dnbok/bokrecensioner/gunilla-ander-bomull-en-solkig-historia-1.1191565
http://www.dn.se/dnbok/bokrecensioner/gunilla-ander-bomull-en-solkig-historia-1.1191565
lördag 23 oktober 2010
Kiss and make up
A grand night out at Pernilla's 50th birthday party yesterday.
The theme was 60s and some of the guests had done a wonderful job of finding vintage outfits. I contemplated dressing up like a hippy but in the end bottled out. Kai's comment was something of a disincentive: Daddy, why do you want to dress as a hippo? What's so funny about Peace, mud and understanding?
If you want a party to go with a swing, invite a choir! Pernilla's really sung their socks off which was a marvelous tribute to her. A treat!
I was sitting opposite Ganesh, a charming chap from Mumbai. He'd never been to this kind of Swedish party before and was a bit baffled by the song booklet we had on the table. It contained the lyrics of 50 songs for community singing.He probably was wondering how long the party would last!
Gary got out his ukelele and sung á few numbers. Young Jack Watson dressed up as Gene Simmons and very bravely did a Kiss song karaoke style. The look of sheer, unadulterated pain on Duncan's face during this was priceless. Cooper is a very sensitive chap and metal is most definitely not his thing.
The Kiss army pedants on my table pointed out to me that Jack was in fact made up like Paul Stanley and not Gene. There's no pleasing some people!
The theme was 60s and some of the guests had done a wonderful job of finding vintage outfits. I contemplated dressing up like a hippy but in the end bottled out. Kai's comment was something of a disincentive: Daddy, why do you want to dress as a hippo? What's so funny about Peace, mud and understanding?
If you want a party to go with a swing, invite a choir! Pernilla's really sung their socks off which was a marvelous tribute to her. A treat!
I was sitting opposite Ganesh, a charming chap from Mumbai. He'd never been to this kind of Swedish party before and was a bit baffled by the song booklet we had on the table. It contained the lyrics of 50 songs for community singing.He probably was wondering how long the party would last!
Gary got out his ukelele and sung á few numbers. Young Jack Watson dressed up as Gene Simmons and very bravely did a Kiss song karaoke style. The look of sheer, unadulterated pain on Duncan's face during this was priceless. Cooper is a very sensitive chap and metal is most definitely not his thing.
The Kiss army pedants on my table pointed out to me that Jack was in fact made up like Paul Stanley and not Gene. There's no pleasing some people!
Locky holler?
That fabulous Skildebeest, the Whitehaven Wanderer departed eastwards yesterday. (I can't mention his real name as I am aware that memebers of the criminal fraternity read my blog daily in order to gather tips to plan their next heist).
Leaving Sweden in snow, he's heading for a typhoon that's about to hit HK. Talk about frying pans and fires!
The kids and I went past his workplace to drop off a packet for my old school friend Neil who he will hopefully meet up with. Neil is currently performing in an amateur production of The Rocky Horror Show in Honk Kong.That I would like to see!
Zoe soon discovered a fabulous paddling pool in the bank reception area. I wonder how often the denizens of the banking world take their shoes and socks off and have a good paddle.
Kai is fascinated by bankers, these mysterious creatures that, like magicians, inhabit a mysterious world with its own laws. Here's Neil Hannon's opinion.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dbsFmEf37g
Leaving Sweden in snow, he's heading for a typhoon that's about to hit HK. Talk about frying pans and fires!
The kids and I went past his workplace to drop off a packet for my old school friend Neil who he will hopefully meet up with. Neil is currently performing in an amateur production of The Rocky Horror Show in Honk Kong.That I would like to see!
Zoe soon discovered a fabulous paddling pool in the bank reception area. I wonder how often the denizens of the banking world take their shoes and socks off and have a good paddle.
Kai is fascinated by bankers, these mysterious creatures that, like magicians, inhabit a mysterious world with its own laws. Here's Neil Hannon's opinion.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dbsFmEf37g
fredag 22 oktober 2010
Divine! Comic!
Magnificent concert on Thursday evening at KGB by Neil Hannon aka The Divine Comedy. Witty, intelligent, sophisticated pop at its very best.
Just him, a grand piano, a guitar and his fabulous collection of songs.With material that good, he actually benefited from not having a band. The emphasis was on the songs and what a string of pearls it was. A lady of a certain age, The pop singer's fear of the pollen count,National Express, Our mutual friend. One small masterpiece after the other.
The man is a natural entertainer. A sing along to Don't you want me baby came as a pleasant surprise seguing in from a quote from Blue Monday at the end of Indie Disco. I've never heard New Order's classic played on a grand piano before!
Duncan, who has been to just a few gigs (!) said that it was one of the best Stockholm audiences that he'd seen. There were quite a few ex-pats there who bantered with Mr Hannon but also a large crowd of local,sophisticated pop fans. Quite a turn up for the books for Cooper and I to go to a gig that was well-attended.
Just him, a grand piano, a guitar and his fabulous collection of songs.With material that good, he actually benefited from not having a band. The emphasis was on the songs and what a string of pearls it was. A lady of a certain age, The pop singer's fear of the pollen count,National Express, Our mutual friend. One small masterpiece after the other.
The man is a natural entertainer. A sing along to Don't you want me baby came as a pleasant surprise seguing in from a quote from Blue Monday at the end of Indie Disco. I've never heard New Order's classic played on a grand piano before!
Duncan, who has been to just a few gigs (!) said that it was one of the best Stockholm audiences that he'd seen. There were quite a few ex-pats there who bantered with Mr Hannon but also a large crowd of local,sophisticated pop fans. Quite a turn up for the books for Cooper and I to go to a gig that was well-attended.
torsdag 21 oktober 2010
Luke. Warm or Skywalker?
Gary tipped me off about the interesting Difference between site which covers a whole spectrum of different areas.The language ones will perhaps be useful to us professionally.
http://www.differencebetween.net/miscellaneous/difference-between-cute-and-hot/
Shame it's not more interactive. And some of the questions are rather naive.
But on to the important question. Am I cute or am I hot? Or am I just dogeared and lukewarm?
http://www.differencebetween.net/miscellaneous/difference-between-cute-and-hot/
Shame it's not more interactive. And some of the questions are rather naive.
But on to the important question. Am I cute or am I hot? Or am I just dogeared and lukewarm?
tisdag 19 oktober 2010
Harvest time
Greetings from Sundsvall where I am working for two days.
This afternoon we had a guided tour of a sawmill. It reminded me of Gröna Lund. Very noisy and lots of conveyor belts going up and down everywhere, not to mention powerful mechanical arms. Kai would have loved it!
I also paid a visit to the wonderful Harvest Records. Specialist in 60s tarities. The poor owner was a bit taken aback by my arrival. I don't think he'd seen a customer for several months.
Surprising!
I thought there'd be a big demand here for the Edgar Broughton Band, Quintessence, the Groundhogs and East of Eden!
This afternoon we had a guided tour of a sawmill. It reminded me of Gröna Lund. Very noisy and lots of conveyor belts going up and down everywhere, not to mention powerful mechanical arms. Kai would have loved it!
I also paid a visit to the wonderful Harvest Records. Specialist in 60s tarities. The poor owner was a bit taken aback by my arrival. I don't think he'd seen a customer for several months.
Surprising!
I thought there'd be a big demand here for the Edgar Broughton Band, Quintessence, the Groundhogs and East of Eden!
måndag 18 oktober 2010
A bad morning for Olle
Poor little Olle, Kai's classmate, had a rather shocking experience this morning.
Ten past eight and all the teachers were trying to get the class settled down for the day. The kids were all sitting drawing, their little blonde heads deep in their notebooks. I'll confess that I was rather tired and a tad stressed out at everything I had to do before I could leave for the evening train to Sundsvall where I am now sitting.
So there I was going through my mental checklist: leave Kai's bicyle key in his bag; leave a note to the teacher; leave extra clothes in his cubbyhole; say goodbye to Kai.Ooops haven't said goodbye to Kai! Quick do it and get home!
So I saw a little blonde head in front of me,want up to it,admired his drawing, gave him a big hug and said "Don't forget Mummy is taking you swimming later". At this point, to my horror, I realised that the little blond head belonged to Olle and not Kai. Oh god! The embarassment! If I ever had any cred with Kai's class (unlikely!) it's totally gone now. They must all think I am a raving loony.
The teachers, mercifully, were more amused than shocked.
I fear that today's debacle is even worse than the occasion when I was picking up Zoe from nursery to take her for a haircut. It was siesta and all the little ones were sleeping. ¨Late and stressed as ever, I dashed into the semi-darkened room, grabbed Zo and went dashing out, muttering "Time for a haircut". At this point, the rather embarassed staff pointed out that I had taken the wrong child!
Ten past eight and all the teachers were trying to get the class settled down for the day. The kids were all sitting drawing, their little blonde heads deep in their notebooks. I'll confess that I was rather tired and a tad stressed out at everything I had to do before I could leave for the evening train to Sundsvall where I am now sitting.
So there I was going through my mental checklist: leave Kai's bicyle key in his bag; leave a note to the teacher; leave extra clothes in his cubbyhole; say goodbye to Kai.Ooops haven't said goodbye to Kai! Quick do it and get home!
So I saw a little blonde head in front of me,want up to it,admired his drawing, gave him a big hug and said "Don't forget Mummy is taking you swimming later". At this point, to my horror, I realised that the little blond head belonged to Olle and not Kai. Oh god! The embarassment! If I ever had any cred with Kai's class (unlikely!) it's totally gone now. They must all think I am a raving loony.
The teachers, mercifully, were more amused than shocked.
I fear that today's debacle is even worse than the occasion when I was picking up Zoe from nursery to take her for a haircut. It was siesta and all the little ones were sleeping. ¨Late and stressed as ever, I dashed into the semi-darkened room, grabbed Zo and went dashing out, muttering "Time for a haircut". At this point, the rather embarassed staff pointed out that I had taken the wrong child!
lördag 16 oktober 2010
Cornucopia
A gorgeous sunny day here, further gilded by the fact that Multi Kulti had a large box of cut price CDs that was full of wonderful, mostly unknown, Spanish and Brazialian oddities.
I bought an album by Japanese dubsters Oki, Charlie Gillett said that it sounds " sort of Tyrannosaurus Rex meets Horace Andy and Can in Hawaii". How can one resist?
I bought an album by Japanese dubsters Oki, Charlie Gillett said that it sounds " sort of Tyrannosaurus Rex meets Horace Andy and Can in Hawaii". How can one resist?
fredag 15 oktober 2010
La vida loca
In the great football game of life, this week's match between Oscarsson Farrow United vs Reality has been rather like Sweden vs Holland.
Zoe is being very naughty and refusing to do anything we want. Kai is behaving very badly at school. Billy The IKEA wardrobe will not let us put his doors on.
And my computer crashed just when I didn't need any technical problems!
Zoe is being very naughty and refusing to do anything we want. Kai is behaving very badly at school. Billy The IKEA wardrobe will not let us put his doors on.
And my computer crashed just when I didn't need any technical problems!
onsdag 13 oktober 2010
Don't you want me baby?
You were workig as a waitress in a cocktail bar ....
After a hearty supper, all a dad wants to do is put his feet up, smoke his pipe and read the Telegraph. Fat chance! Young Ms Farrow wants to bop all night to the League. Inhuman I call it!
Alll my fault of course. I should have never have introduced her to Soft Cell, Yazoo, Heaven 17, OMD and all those other fine 80s bands that I used to dance to.
But as the old saying goes: The synths of the fathers......
After a hearty supper, all a dad wants to do is put his feet up, smoke his pipe and read the Telegraph. Fat chance! Young Ms Farrow wants to bop all night to the League. Inhuman I call it!
Alll my fault of course. I should have never have introduced her to Soft Cell, Yazoo, Heaven 17, OMD and all those other fine 80s bands that I used to dance to.
But as the old saying goes: The synths of the fathers......
Munch
The feminine touch, eh? Ulrika is still on sick leave which means that she's at home when the kids have breakfast. She makes every effort for the first meal of the day to be a special occasion: candles on the table, a flower, maybe even the reading of a fairy story. Quite a contrast to breakfast time with me. I'm like an irate zookeeper at feeding time. I hurl a few stale crusts at the kids and scream: "Eat you varmints! Eat!
tisdag 12 oktober 2010
Bedhead
Zoe now has a new bed. This means that she can get up whenever she feels like it.
This morning she felt like it at 5.00 am and toddled around exploring the flat in the darkness. At that hour even Motorhead couldn't wake Kai and myself so light sleeper Ulrika landed the job of persuading the midnight rambler to return to her slumbers.
I'm told that Emmerdale Farm is on at 4.00 am. Could this explain her behaviour?
This morning she felt like it at 5.00 am and toddled around exploring the flat in the darkness. At that hour even Motorhead couldn't wake Kai and myself so light sleeper Ulrika landed the job of persuading the midnight rambler to return to her slumbers.
I'm told that Emmerdale Farm is on at 4.00 am. Could this explain her behaviour?
onsdag 6 oktober 2010
Living room?
Last week all the kids in Kai's class painted magnificent dragon kites. Lots of jolly colourful flowers and birds. Kai's is very fine but I'm a bit uncertain about the subject matter: A gigantic devil's head. "It's a bloodthirsty skeleton, Daddy" he told me proudly.
I felt a little like Herr and Frau Hitler at the primary school admiring young Adolf's first etchings. And he's already starting to grumble about a lack of Lebensraum in the kids bedroom. This could end in tears!
I felt a little like Herr and Frau Hitler at the primary school admiring young Adolf's first etchings. And he's already starting to grumble about a lack of Lebensraum in the kids bedroom. This could end in tears!
måndag 4 oktober 2010
The days are packed
Hilarious! An article in yesterday's DN described various immaculately turnedout Stockholm families and all the fab activities that their kids crammed into a week.
The poor mother in the family would get up at 4.00 am to start preparing supper, to ensure the logistics of this. The philosophy seems to be that unless a child is doing at least two after-school activities a day, they are not leading a full life.
The Von Snottenburgers managed: archery, origami, karate,pony-trecking,tap dancing, football, ice-hockey,ballroom dancing,table tennis, deep-sea diving and wind-surfing.
We Farrows by contrast manage: sleep, eating, more sleep, hoovering, watching TV, laundry, bickering, loitering, eating crisps, computer games, interpersonal-violence, shoplifting, hospital visits and karate.
Fogey that I am, I think it's very good for children to get bored once in a while. It inspires creativity.
Sid Vicious didn't get where he is today by dashing off to origami classes!
The poor mother in the family would get up at 4.00 am to start preparing supper, to ensure the logistics of this. The philosophy seems to be that unless a child is doing at least two after-school activities a day, they are not leading a full life.
The Von Snottenburgers managed: archery, origami, karate,pony-trecking,tap dancing, football, ice-hockey,ballroom dancing,table tennis, deep-sea diving and wind-surfing.
We Farrows by contrast manage: sleep, eating, more sleep, hoovering, watching TV, laundry, bickering, loitering, eating crisps, computer games, interpersonal-violence, shoplifting, hospital visits and karate.
Fogey that I am, I think it's very good for children to get bored once in a while. It inspires creativity.
Sid Vicious didn't get where he is today by dashing off to origami classes!
Kai declares war!
There are a lot of war and battles in Kai's little head just now. He's bitterly disappointed with me that I didn't make a greater contribution to WW2!
He seems to think I should have been using my black belt karate skills to slug it out man to man with Herr Hitler on Normandy beach. The fact that I wasn't born he considers to be a fairly feeble excuse.
We parents are just one big disppointment to our kids!
He seems to think I should have been using my black belt karate skills to slug it out man to man with Herr Hitler on Normandy beach. The fact that I wasn't born he considers to be a fairly feeble excuse.
We parents are just one big disppointment to our kids!
fredag 1 oktober 2010
Band of Mothers?
Yesterday I picked up the complete box set of Band of Brothers for a mere 60 SEK in my local charity shop. Explained to Kai that it was about WW2 and he was curious to know if his Grandma Fay was in it.
He was also curious to know what I had done in WW2!
There is a lot of hyperbole among the lads in the schoolyard.I eavesdropped this morning and listened to them all trying to outdo each other in telling tales.
Quick to catch on, Kai was boasting to his pals that his Grandad Fred had been in
WW1, WW2 and WW3!
He was also curious to know what I had done in WW2!
There is a lot of hyperbole among the lads in the schoolyard.I eavesdropped this morning and listened to them all trying to outdo each other in telling tales.
Quick to catch on, Kai was boasting to his pals that his Grandad Fred had been in
WW1, WW2 and WW3!
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